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Plus one etiquette: saying yes to the guest

Wedding Planning – 07.02.18


When you’re basking in the glow of your engagement, all the elements of planning your wedding won’t quite dawn on you right away. But as you float down off your proposal cloud, the reality of wedding planning materialises. What flowers, food and outfits will you choose? More importantly, who would you like to attend your wedding and share your most special day with you?

The first port of call would be to draw up a list of your immediate family and close friends that you’ll have absolutely no doubts over inviting. Starting with your nearest and dearest will always help to kick start invitation process and will give you an initial idea of the size of your celebrations. But, of course, life isn’t so simple – it’s time to decide whether you will be giving guests the option to bring a plus one.

Friends and Family Only

If you have your heart set on keeping your wedding small and intimate, or perhaps looking to keep the budget down, there’s no reason why you couldn’t have a ‘no plus ones’ policy with your invitations. Having one blanket rule for all guests will prevent any complaints of bias, and will also ensure that no plans will be put in place for very early relationships which may not see it to the wedding day itself! Few things are more frustrating on the run up to the big day than a budget and table plan ruined by friends or family suddenly announcing that their plus one will no longer be attending.

The More the Merrier

On the other side is an open plus one policy for all guests. Although it may add a little element of uncertainty with new relationships, it will ensure that all wedding guests will be kept satisfied. If you and your guests are travelling for your wedding, guests may be more inclined to attend with a plus one as they could share the journey and save money on accommodation with a friend or partner. If you opt for an open plus one invite, you can still keep the ceremony and reception intimate and invite plus ones to the evening celebrations.

Keep it Flexible

A policy made popular by Pippa Middleton and James Matthews for their 2017 wedding, this rule only allows plus one guests for those who are married or engaged. Although this may feel a little outdated in 2018 with many couples in stable relationships simply choosing not to be wed for a variety of reasons – it has made the idea of having a flexible plus one guest policy more fashionable. It’s certainly easy to see why, as your plus one policy is completely tailored to you and your partner. You could only extend plus ones to those who you know are in long term, serious relationships; or only for family members; or only for those guests who won’t know anyone else there! It’s completely up to you…

Our main advice from all of us here at Combermere Abbey is to plan your wedding your way, to create the most magical day surrounded by all of your favourite people. No matter which plus one policy you opt for, it will be a day that will be remembered forever – so be sure to cherish every moment!

If you’d like to learn more about how Combermere Abbey can make your wedding dreams come true, get in touch with our wedding team today.